The last thing any bride wants is rain on her wedding day, but a well-prepared bride is a happy bride, which is why creating a rain plan with your vendors (and making sure you actually like your backup options!) is a key detail for any outdoor affair. If the clouds do start to roll in, you and your team will need to make a call and decide if you’re going to risk it, or if the chance of a storm is high enough to push you indoors. But when, exactly? Here are a few expert tips to determine when you need to decide if you’ll be going with your rain plan.

While you can’t control the weather, there are a number of apps and services that will help give you a better idea of what the weather might look like throughout your wedding day. Of course, if there’s an 80-100% chance of rain (especially right when you’ll be outside), your best bet is to make the change early. This will give your vendors ample time to set up indoors and make sure that Plan B is just as fabulous as it would have been if the sun had been shining. You’ll also have time to get used to the idea, so you’ll be ready to get married instead of focusing on how much you wish you were outside.

For a smaller chance of rain, check with your venue to see when they need you to make the call. For some, that’s 10 a.m. the morning of your wedding, while others (especially for a more simple change, such as moving cocktail tables indoors when you’re already planning to have the reception inside) may be able to wait until the early afternoon. Familiarize yourself with their policy as you’re making the backup plan, and trust that your team has you and your guests’ best interests at heart. Yes, it would be great to pop back outside after the clouds clear, but if that fall rainstorm is going to drop the temperatures into the 40s, you’ll be shivering instead of enjoying your time with your guests — doesn’t being inside sound so much more fun?

And of course, if you have a tent reserved in case of rain, that’s another schedule entirely. Yes, those tents can be assembled in a few hours, but remember that the tent needs to be up before any of the furniture or décor items are set up. This is a call you’ll need to make either the night before your wedding or first thing in the morning. Our recommendation? If it looks like rain, bring in the tent. You’ll be happy to have dry seats and tables when it’s time for the party to start, as well as a means of holding in some heat should it cool off. And if the drizzle passes quickly? Have your team open up all the sides of the tent so your guests still get the fresh air and the views — even if the skies stay ominous.

See more: 7 Reasons You Want Rain on Your Wedding Day (Seriously!)

Wedding dress shopping and can’t understand a word coming out of your bridal stylist’s mouth? Not to worry — we’re here to lay it all out for you. There’s a lot to consider when picking the right wedding dress, and knowing what kind of fabrics you like — or at least the difference among them — and how they’re best worn, can make the process less overwhelming. Behold, an alphabetical glossary where you can finally learn the difference between batiste and damask.

Batiste
Lightweight and soft, this transparent fabric is made of plain weave.

Brocade
Known as an elegant fabric, brocade can be made from silk or synthetic fibers and is distinguished by jacquard (raised designs) woven in the fabric. Full of great body, the material is stiff but lighter than satin, a perfect choice for a structured gown in fall or winter.

Charmeuse
Lightweight, rich, and delicate, this luxurious fabric is characterized by a glossy sheen on the outside and a matte inside. Its soft drape makes it popular for flowing styles, such as an empire-waist dress.

Chiffon
One of the lighter fabrics, chiffon is often used as an overlay, in layers, or as an accent detail due to its sheer and transparent style. Made from silk or rayon, it has a floaty and ethereal vibe.

Crepe
Made of a soft silk or lightweight rayon, crepe is gauzy and crinkled, perfect for soft silhouettes.

Damask
Similar to brocade in that it has raised designs, damask is of a lighter weight. The pattern, in dull jacquard, is the same color as the fabric.

Dotted Swiss
Lightweight and breathable, dotted swiss is fashioned out of muslin fabric with an evenly dispersed playful dotted motif. This is ideal for a spring or summer wedding outdoors.

Dupioni
Slightly rough, this fabric of coarse fibers does a good job at keeping its shape.

Faille
Woven fabric of silk, cotton, or rayon this fabric features a structured, ribbed finish with a crosswise rib effect.

Georgette
Sheer and lightweight, georgette is spun from polyester or silk and has a crepe surface. Its soft silhouette makes it a perfect top layer in wedding gowns.

Illusion
Growing more popular these days, illusion fabric is a fine, sheer net fabric often used as sleeves, on the neckline, or in cut-outs.

Lace
Woven from silk or cotton, lace can take the shape of many different kinds of weaves, including alencon, chantilly, embroidered, eyelet, guipure, honiton, knit, and venise. It’s often used as an overlay or as detail.

Moire
Typically made of polyester or heavy silk taffeta, moire gives the illusion of glistening water when seen in light. It’s characterized by a subtle, wavy design.

Organza
While sheer and lightweight like chiffon, organza holds a more structured silhouette, making it ideal for warm weather weddings. A delicate fabric, it’s woven from synthetic fibers and has a shiny finish and crisp drape. It’s often used for layered gowns to add fullness, ballgowns, trains, and veils.

Point D’Esprit
A polyester net, this material is sewn together in the creation of a diamond pattern. Elegant and feminine, it’s known for its texture.

Pique
This knit fabric is characterized by a waffle-weave exterior.

Polyester
Inexpensive and synthetic, polyester can be woven into almost any fabric. Polyester satin is a very common alternative to silk in that it’s more wrinkle resistant and less delicate.

Rayon
A smooth fabric similar to silk, rayon is more elastic and affordable. This semi-synthetic fiber is lightweight and breathable, perfect for a summer wedding. While a plus in that it’s inexpensive, it does wrinkle easily.

Satin
A popular material, satin is heavy and smooth with a deep sheen from silk and nylon fibers that create a high thread count. Silk satin is one of the more traditional wedding dress fabrics. It’s available in a variety of styles including Duchess satin, Italian satin, slipper satin, and peach satin.

Shantung
Plainly woven silk or cotton, shantung features a subtle weave that results in a rubbed texture. Its medium light weight gives it a nice drape, allows it to hold volume, and looks and feels rich.

See More: Our Favorite Dresses From Real Weddings

Silk
One of the most traditional fabrics, silk is not only timeless but versatile. It’s durable, comes in different textures and styles, and is suited for all seasons. Spun into thread and woven into cloth, silk is distinguished by its muted shine. Variations include silk gazar, silk Mikado, and dupion.

Taffeta
Available in different styles, taffeta is made from silk or synthetic fibers. The stiffer the taffeta, the higher its quality. Rich for winter and light for summer, this versatile fabric can come in almost any color and sometimes appears iridescent due to the weaving process.

Tulle
Characterized by a sheer, gauzy open weave similar to netting, tulle has an airy vibe but can maintain structure by ruching it. Very delicate, it’s often used as a gown’s lining. It comes in different weights and stiffness.

Voile
Lightweight and breathable, voile is made from cotton or wool and is semi-transparent. Its casual look makes it perfect for informal weddings.

Velvet
Soft and thick, velvet has a felted face. Its heavy weight makes it suited for a winter wedding.

Zibeline
Zibeline is woven in a single direction from straight fibers for a shiny finish.

Former Glee star Dianna Agron and her musical hubs Winston Marshall tied the knot in Morocco on October 15. And while we thought her dress was a stunning beaded Valentino number from the runways (based on the latest Instagram photos floating around the interwebs), she actually wore a different wedding dress on her big day.

Agron, 30, and Marshall, 27, haven’t released any official photos from their destination wedding in Morocco, but apparently the dress that we thought she wore wasn’t THE dress. Previously it was reported that the actress rocked a nude-colored, bejeweled Valentino gown (that retails for a whopping $20,500), but Us Weekly just shared that the actress wore a traditional white gown from Vivienne Westwood (channeling a little Carrie Bradshaw, eh?) at her ceremony and reception.

“The dress was a timeless choice, [made from] ivory crepe with a corset and off-the-shoulder,” the insider told Us Weekly. “There was no embellishment or beading, just simple draping.” Agron completed the ensemble with a simple, shoulder-length veil. Quite a different look than the Valentino gown and headpiece that seemed to align more with her Moroccan destination wedding — but we’re loving both!

And while there is a yet to be a photo that has surfaced of the I Am Number Four actress in her dress, we have seen photos of her in a flowy white and floral kaftan and white turban, looking quite chic. Her friends shared various snaps throughout the wedding weekend — which looked to be an absolutely stunning, glamorous extravaganza.

The newlyweds got engaged in December of 2015 when the Mumford & Sons banjoist proposed with a beautiful round diamond with a gold band. Staying true to her fashion-loving roots, instead of debuting her engagement ring on the red carpet, Agron chose an even better avenue — the runway. The actress joined Harley Viera Newton and Alexa Chung in the front row for the Erdem’s London Fashion Week runway show according to Glamour, and flashed her ring for all to see.

After their dreamy “I dos,” Argon and Marshall are definitely basking in that newlywed glow. “He is the nicest guy and treats her like a princess,” a source shared. “He is so thoughtful and flies her family everywhere they go and to see them whenever she wants. He is also so good to her friends.”

See below for a sneak peek at what sources say is a gown that resembles Agron’s wedding dress.

See More: The 21 Signs He’s About to Propose

"This Vivienne Westwood dress is very similar to the one Dianna Agron wore on her wedding day." Via @usweekly pic.twitter.com/4Sqg6B17JA

— Dianna Agron Italia (@DiannaAgron_IT) October 19, 2016

Beautiful as hell, her wedding is so special like her, perfect wedding dress ???????????????????????????? #DiannaAgron

A photo posted by Darren is Hedwig(wifi limited) (@gleecastnew) on Oct 17, 2016 at 8:04am PDT

My little cupcake, I'm so happy for you #DiannaAgron @diannaagron you deserve it so much ???????????? gorgeous

A photo posted by Darren is Hedwig(wifi limited) (@gleecastnew) on Oct 17, 2016 at 8:06am PDT

In your 20s and 30s, the more weddings you attend, the more you’ll feel like you are having a big ol’ case of wedding weekend deja vu. The day and the night can start to feel repetitive for guests who have become frequent wedding attendees. So if you’re looking for fun and unique ways to make your wedding stand out from the rest, here are six easy (and inexpensive!) ways to impress your wedding guests.

1. Cater Your Favorite Food
Skip the traditional wedding reception food and instead do a buffet or a side dish table with a type of food that you love. To make it even more personalized, perhaps cater your wedding dinner from your favorite local restaurant.

2. Create a Doughnut Display
Standard wedding cakes — while we love them — aren’t a “must-have” for every wedding celebration. Instead, couples are serving desserts that are more in line with their personalities. One of our favorite trends is creating a doughnut display on the wall, which is a dessert trend that allows guests to pick and choose a sugary treat at their leisure.

3. Incorporate Live Music
If you can’t afford a full-band, hire a DJ to provide the music for the wedding reception and hire one or two musicians to accompany his pre-selected music. It’ll be a good dance floor surprise for your guests and will definitely get the crowd going.

4. Provide Interactive Games
Photobooths have become a standard tradition at weddings, but giving guests more activities will keep them from sitting down the entire night. Depending on the aesthetic of your wedding, providing lawn games, table tennis, or other interactive activities will keep the vibe enjoyable and light.

See More: 7 Wedding Rules Guests Can (and Totally Should) Break

5. Toss Out the Wedding Traditions
If tossing the bouquet, walking down the aisle, or even having a 45-minute long cocktail hour isn’t your style, then skip it. Your guests will admire the uniqueness of your big day — and will be looking to the non-traditional surprises throughout the night.

6. Let Them Sit Anywhere
Toss out your seating chart woes and have your guests pick their own spots for the night. The major perks: they’ll socialize more, feel more relaxed, and will enjoy their seating moreso than if you and your spouse pre-selected their seating arrangements.

Jen Glantz is a “Professional Bridesmaid” and the founder of Bridesmaid for Hire. She’s the author of All My Friends Are Engaged and frequently wears old bridesmaid dresses to the grocery store and on first dates.

You didn’t think we’d forget about the wedding of Designated Survivor actress Italia Ricci and Flash star Robbie Amell in a flash, did you? The couple tied the knot this past weekend, but we’re still not done dissecting every detail from their ultra-romantic nuptials. And as new wedding photos emerge, you’re bound to find some nuptial inspiration within their beautiful big day. Feel free to steal their “I do” ideas — we bet they won’t mind!

“At first when we got engaged, I asked him if we could just go to Vegas and get married by Elvis,” Ricci said, reminiscing with Us Weekly. “Just because I didn’t want to deal with planning a wedding.” Well, thank goodness these two changed their minds! After six years together, Amell and Ricci got engaged back in August of 2014, with the couple finally tying the knot on Saturday October 15 in Los Angeles. Can you imagine if we missed out on the gorgeousness of their big day?!

We’ve already oohed and aahed over the bride’s James Clifford ball gown, but you didn’t think we were tired of looking at it, did you?! “My dress was heavy,” Ricci said of her strapless and beaded wedding dress. “It was like 35 pounds!” Hey, being a bride is hard work! But the luxe look was totally worth it! As for the groom’s dashing Samuelsohn tux, it also held exquisite detailing — including extra special embroidery. “It was inside my right lapel,” revealed Amell. “It just said ‘10.15.16.’ which was really nice. I’ll have this tux forever.”

But there was an even more sweetly personal component of the bride and groom’s wedding ensembles. “My dad’s a jeweler, so he made both wedding rings,” explained Amell. “Italia’s band matches her engagement ring. It’s slightly rounded, and there are three stones surrounding the entire thing. Mine is just plain white gold.” Cue our IRL heart eyes.

A photo posted by PeopleStyle (@people_style) on Oct 17, 2016 at 7:56am PDT

They're so cute together ???????????? #robbieamell #italiaricci #wedding #love #happiness #romance #stunning #gorgeous #beautiful

A photo posted by Fairytale Weddings & Events (@kmfairytaleweddings) on Oct 19, 2016 at 5:25pm PDT

Love personified… Exclusive shots from @robbieamell & @italiaricci featured in @usweekly Link in bio! Special Thank You to @sbarr06 & @mindyweiss @leahrachelbee for coordinating an amazing wedding! #photographer #wedding #love

A photo posted by Dimitry Loiseau/ Photographer (@dimitryl) on Oct 19, 2016 at 4:18pm PDT

Later at the reception, the pair took their first spin around the dance floor to “Never Stop” by Safety Suit and their wedding guests (including celebs like Victor Garber) marveled over their towering centerpieces of lush white blooms. “People kept joking around that it was like Game of Thrones with all the candles and flowers,” said Amell.

A photo posted by Fairytale Weddings & Events (@kmfairytaleweddings) on Oct 19, 2016 at 5:28pm PDT

A photo posted by ????Flash_arrow_supergirl???? (@dc_fan_justice_league) on Oct 20, 2016 at 5:48am PDT

See More: 50 Thing to Know About Finding Your Dream Wedding Dress

Throughout the night, guests got to sip on custom cocktails featuring fresh basil, lemon, and vodka, including to Us. “Most of Italia’s family just wanted me to do shots all night, so I didn’t get to enjoy the signature cocktails as much as I would have liked,” noted the groom. Well at least he got a bite of cake, right? The wedding party devoured a delicious four-tiered confection by Joanie & Leigh’s Cakes filled with berries and cream. Yum!

But according to the look on the bride’s face, the best part of the big day seems to be the moment her new hubby surprised her with McDonalds! Dreams do come true…

My husband gets me. Thanks @mcdonalds, @dimitryl, and @usweekly!

A photo posted by Italia Ricci (@italiaricci) on Oct 19, 2016 at 10:19am PDT

Love love love their cake ???????? ???? @dimitryl #robbieamell #italiaricci #wedding #love #happiness #romance #stunning #gorgeous #beautiful #weddingcake

A photo posted by Fairytale Weddings & Events (@kmfairytaleweddings) on Oct 19, 2016 at 5:28pm PDT

Oh men…can’t live with ’em and can’t live without ’em! As every woman whose ever planned a wedding knows, getting your guy involved in the big day details can be a bit, er, tough. It’s not that they don’t care; it’s just that they don’t care nearly as much about the particulars as you do, which can be ridiculously frustrating. So no, you’re definitely not alone if you want to seriously strangle your fianc&#233 during the planning process when he does these certain things.

1. Every time he says, “I don’t know.”
Or, “Whatever you want babe!” It’s like uhhh, if I knew exactly what I wanted I wouldn’t be asking you for a second opinion in the first place. So word to the wise (guys), when your woman asks you whether you prefer peonies over whatever other kind of flower she shows you, just pick one!

2. When he gets annoyed with all the wedding talk.
Which is basically like every time you bring up the word wedding. Seriously what is it with men that they can’t handle communicating about the biggest day of your life, not to mention theirs too? SMH.

3. When he tells you, “Let’s talk about it later.”
So, of course, you bring it up later and he still doesn’t want to talk about it. It’s like you can’t win, and there’s never a good time for him to discuss any of the details. He does know there’s a deadline on these things, doesn’t he?

4. Every time he second-guesses your decisions.
You know, the ones he casually brushed off two weeks (or months ago) and responded with, “Whatever you want babe.” Then as soon as a decision was finally made, with no help from him whatsoever at that, he suddenly gets an actual opinion on the matter. Um, sorry dude, but where was your input when I first asked?

See More: How to Stop Second Guessing Your Wedding Planning Decisions… For Good!

5. When he refuses to stand up to his demanding family.
He’d rather not rock the boat and stir up drama so instead he says his mom can just invite whomever she wants, even if that means you have to nix your own friends from the guest list and don’t even know the peeps personally either? Um, hell to the no! Unless they’re paying for the wedding, family shouldn’t dictate big decisions like this. Give her a few invites as a nice gesture, and tell your guy to grow a pair and stick up for the both of you on the rest!

6. When he waits until the last minute to rent or buy his suit.
After you’ve had to nag him like a crazy person over and over again just to get it done! Seriously, the last thing you need right before the big day is added stress over a freaking suit. Why must men be such procrastinators? Argh, it’s like he’s just trying to piss you off!

7. When you give him a few simple duties to do and he forgets.
How convenient, right? All you asked him to do was handle booking the honeymoon flights and hotels and he somehow manages to screw that up. Scratch that, he manages to not do it all unless you’re micro-managing him, which isn’t fun for anyone!

Sure, a bachelorette celebration consisting of all-nighters in Las Vegas seems great in theory, but with all of the wedding planning stress sometimes all a bride-to-be and her bridesmaids really crave is a weekend away with lots of rest, relaxation, and rejuvenating activities. Luckily for the Southern California bride, there are many nearby destinations that boast a wealth of wellness offerings to unwind and recharge before the ring. Just a few days at one of these five sundrenched havens and you and your bridesmaids will emerge feeling healthy, energized, and more glowing than ever.

Bacara Resort & Spa (Above)
Wellness-minded brides-to-be will fall in love with the Bacara Resort & Spa’s Sky Ranch Fitness retreat. If you’re looking to step up your fitness regime for the big day, this four or six-day fitness vacation is just what you need. Exercise, enjoy healthy fare, indulge in therapeutic spa treatments, and go on daily hikes with your bridesmaids, all while soaking in the beauty of Santa Barbara. Read real brides’ reviews here!

Cal-a-Vie Health Spa
The Cal-a-Vie is a rejuvenating retreat tucked in between picturesque wildflower-filled hills. The peaceful spa haven offers three, four, and seven night packages that include accommodations in a Mediterranean-style villa, massages, spa treatments, nutrition lectures, cooking demonstrations, meditation sessions, and unlimited fitness classes — all designed to inspire a healthy lifestyle.

Four Seasons Hotel, Westlake Village
The Four Seasons Hotel, Westlake Village is a fantastic choice for LA brides-to-be who crave a wellness getaway without ever leaving the city. You and your bridal squad can take healthy cooking classes, lounge by the pool, or take a ballet barre class or two. If you’re really committed to dropping the last few pounds before the wedding, the resort offers an all-inclusive Ranch 4.0 luxury bootcamp package. Read real brides’ reviews here!

See More: Check Out These Local Wedding Makeup Artists to Help with Your Big Day Beauty

Omni La Costa Resort & Spa
The best part of this San Diego oasis — besides its world-class spa and eight sparkling pools — is its on-site Chopra Center for Wellbeing. You and your besties will experience absolute bliss thanks to the center’s menu of wellness offerings that fuse Eastern healing practices with modern Western medicine. There’s no doubt you’ll leave feeling like a healthier, more balanced version of yourself. Read real brides’ reviews here!

The Resort at Pelican Hill
This dreamy Newport Beach destination is praised for its decadent spa. We suggest going with the bridal party pre-wedding wellness package that features everything you and your girls need to get ready for the big day including massages, manis and pedis, body scrubs, a private group yoga class, and a guided walk through Crystal Cove Beach. Read real brides’ reviews here!

For more bachelorette party venues and “I do” locales, browse our Local Venues page here!

Sure, when we think of Jackie Kennedy Onassis and wedding, the former first lady’s perfectly classic wedding to president John F. Kennedy is the first thing that comes to mind. Jackie’s sweet off-the-shoulder Ann Lowe dress, and heirloom lace veil, have served as iconic inspiration for brides-to-be for decades. But what about Jackie’s other wedding day? On October 20, 1968, Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy became Jaqueline Kennedy Onassis (aka Jackie O.) when she married Aristotle Onassis, and she did it in impeccable style! We’re looking back on the first lady’s historic island wedding day for a little dose of perfect fashion.

Both Natalie Portman and Katie Holmes are set to give Jackie the movie treatment this year, and we even saw the former Mrs. Cruise recreate Jackie and Aristotle’s wedding day for the small screen earlier this year. But what about the real wedding of former first lady Jackie Kennedy to Greek shipping heir Aristotle Onassis?

The Engagement
Five years after the tragic death of JFK, Jackie shocked the world by announcing she was engaged to longtime friend Aristotle Onassis, who was 23 years older than her. To celebrate their engagement, Onassis gave Jackie a 40-carat Marquise cut Lesotho III diamond ring from Harry Winston — which she kept in a bank vault. After she passed away in 1996 the ring was sold at auction for $2.59 million.

The Wedding
It was a “Big Fat Greek Wedding” for Jackie’s second time down the aisle! On the groom’s private island of Skorpios, Greece, Jackie Kennedy and Aristotle Onassis said “I do” in an intimate Greek Orthodox wedding ceremony surrounded by family — and a little bit of rain. Her children, JFK Jr. and Caroline Kennedy, participated in the big day by holding candles during the ceremony, and Jackie’s sister Lee Radziwill served as matron of honor. Around 40 guests (close friends and family) witnessed the 45-minute ceremony. As the new Mr. and Mrs. exited the tiny chapel they were showered with rice (for fertility), and sugared almonds (for happiness). After saying “I do” to her new husband, Jackie told a pool of reporters: “We are very happy.” The couple then boarded the groom’s yacht “Christina” — which hosted Grace Kelly’s honeymoon — for an intimate wedding reception.

See More: The Most Iconic Celebrity Brides of All Time

The Dress
Leave it to the woman who set fashion standards for decades to rock the perfect 60s mod look for her wedding day. In a knee-length ivory lace dress designed by Valentino, the new Mrs. O was the picture of stylish bride. The dress featured a mock turtleneck, a nice demure touch, long bishop sleeves — a trend that we saw come down the bridal runways again this season — and a pleated skirt. Topping the look off was a sweet white ribbon accessorizing the bride’s iconic bouffant style that set the standard for 1960s hair trends.

What should be one of the first things you do after getting engaged (after taking that picture-perfect engagement ring selfie, of course!)? Choosing your wedding venue should top your to-do list. Before you send out invites and start tasting cakes, you gotta pick your place! After all, your wedding date, your décor, and your guest list all depend on the size, feel, and availability of your chosen space. Another major wedding day detail your wedding venue can influence? The food!

Whether you’ve been dreaming of saying “I do” in a classic hotel, a trendy restaurant, or a unique event space, the wedding venue you choose will greatly impact just how unconventional your catering can be (although most locations can accommodate some degree of personalization and surprise). Be sure to add these pro and con columns to your list when venue shopping. You do want your guests asking for seconds, don’t you?

Restaurants
Great chefs are often found at restaurants, so buying one out for your big day is the ideal way to get the menu you want. You could also save big because food, rentals, and service are included. “But avoid small places that don’t have the staff to handle a party of your size,” says Hugh Acheson, James Beard Award-winning chef at Empire State South.

Hotels
For a truly stellar meal, find a hotel with an award-winning restaurant where ingredients are locally sourced or made from scratch. But no matter which you choose, meet with the chef to tell him about your wedding style and the foods you like, says Chris Huerta, executive chef at North Carolina’s Old Edwards Inn. Work with the in-house team to create a custom menu or, at the very least, tweak the preset options to reflect your own tastes. “Good caterers can adapt, so don’t be shy about telling them what you want,” Acheson says.

See More: 5 Things All Instagram-Worthy Wedding Venues Have In Common

Event Spaces
Aim for one that lets you bring in any outside vendor (cue food truck for cocktail hour or late-night snacks). “Look for companies that participate in local food festivals or have a background in the restaurant industry,” says Lara Ziemba, private-events manager at the Chicago Cultural Center. If the venue insists that you use a “preferred vendor,” ask if you can pay a fee to go off the list. If the site’s people won’t budge, Ziemba says you can hire a chef you love to work with the caterer (the chef will craft the menu, which the staff will execute and serve) or enlist your favorite restaurant to cook the meal for a licensed caterer to simply pick up, transport to the venue, heat in ovens or warming trays, and serve to guests.

Subscribe now for the best wedding dresses, advice, and big-day inspiration.

There’s a trend toward more intimate weddings in recent years, with many couples opting for only a best man and maid of honor, in lieu of a large wedding party. It’s also been more popular lately to include parents in the actual wedding party, asking dad to stand up as best man, and grandma or mom to be matron of honor.

It’s sweet to see a bride standing with the matriarchs of her family, making the next big step in her life. But there are pros and cons to having your mom in your wedding party.

The Pros
– If your mom is your best friend in the world, it’s fabulous to have her next to you as you exchange vows with your life partner. There couldn’t be a stronger support than what you receive from the woman who raised you.

– It’s unlikely that your mom will get drunk and disorderly at your wedding, so you can probably count on her to help you out from the time you start getting ready until you say goodbye to the last guest.

– Your mom is probably more honest with you than your bestie, especially when it comes to telling you the straight up truth about some of your wedding-day decisions not being the best ideas. Whether it’s your wedding dress and she warns you that your gown is slightly unflattering from behind, or predicting that those gorgeous heels you want will feel miserable after 15 minutes, mothers are more realistic about your feelings. They know it’s better to tell you the painful truth up front than let you limp around looking less than stellar at your wedding.

See More: The Wedding Planning Decisions You Should Always Consult Mom On

The Cons
– Mom can’t throw your bridal showers (at least she’s not supposed to, according to the most basic etiquette), and she isn’t the best choice for planning your bachelorette party either if you’re looking to entertain friends your own age. While she can certainly recruit friends to do the heavy lifting for those pre-wedding events, you might find some girlfriends bitter about getting the work when they’re not in the wedding.

– Your parents are responsible for entertaining their friends who are invited to your wedding. If Mom has to spend a bunch of time doing MOH duties, such as helping you with your dress every single time you need to use the bathroom, she’s going to miss far more of the party than she should.

– Your mom has a VIP guest of honor role at your wedding, even if she doesn’t have a spot on the altar. If you want to involve her more, you have the option of asking her to read part of the ceremony. However, your best girlfriend may get hurt feelings if she’s not asked to take a named position beside you. It’s important to talk with your BFF and explain your reasoning before you make — and publicize — your decision, to mitigate the damage to your relationship.

Sandy Malone is the owner of Sandy Malone Weddings & Events and author of How to Plan Your Own Destination Wedding: Do-It-Yourself Tips from an Experienced Professional. Sandy is the star of TLC’s reality show Wedding Island, about her destination wedding planning company, Weddings in Vieques.