Photo: Brett Matthews
When you’re knee-deep in wedding planning, it can seem like everyone is bombarding you with wedding questions. Some may be people you’re super close with, like your bridal party and family members, while others may be complete strangers or acquaintances you strike up conversation with at Starbucks or your office.
Some of their questions may make you totally excited and throw you into a 30-minute rant on the different flowers in your bouquet or what kind of jazz band you booked to play during cocktail hour. But some questions may be unwelcome and make you feel, well, downright awkward. The most appalling of those queries?
So, how much does your wedding cost?!
Um, don’t go there.
Shockingly, this uncouth question might come from both people you’re close with and people you’ve never spoken to before. Yes, seriously. Even though talking money is usually something that’s totally taboo, for some reason folks think it’s appropriate to ask how much you and your family are forking out for food and flowers. Just like how they think it’s totally okay to ask how much your fiancé paid for your engagement ring.
So how are you supposed to respond to this super awkward query? Basically, don’t. Don’t feel obligated to respond. Instead, try to dodge the question and give a vague response like: “We’ve definitely become good at negotiating with vendors!” Or try to laugh it off with a simple: “Ugh, weddings man!” Answers like that don’t talk specific figures, and they allow you to bring up weddings as a general topic, and take the focus off the cost of yours specifically.
If they keep pressing you for a number, you can dodge it again by saying you’re unsure — let them know that wedding budgets are complex, adding in a joke about your color coded budget excel sheet. Or you can just be honest and let them know that you don’t feel comfortable giving them an amount. Either way, it’s your choice. If you feel comfortable divulging the price tag of your party, you can take that route also.
See More: 7 Tricks to Slashing Your Wedding Reception Rental Costs
Jen Glantz is a “Professional Bridesmaid” and the founder of Bridesmaid for Hire. She’s the author of All My Friends Are Engaged and frequently wears old bridesmaid dresses to the grocery store and on first dates.