It’s so easy to get a little trigger-happy when it comes to registering with those tempting little laser scanners at retailers. While even the best of us can go in with a plan, all too often brides end up receiving gifts they registered for — that they will never, ever use. To ensure you use AND love every piece you select, it’s important to save the trends for a rainy day shopping excursion — and focus on timeless pieces for your registry. This way, they’ll stick with you (and your décor) forever, as will the memories of guests who’ve gifted them!

Vases
There’s nothing worse than having flowers gifted or delivered to your door and having no means to display them. When it comes to both timeless and meaningful gifts, you can never go wrong with registering for a classically beautiful vase (or two!) For brides who love little and big blue boxes, Tiffany & Co. crafts gorgeous vases to suit any style.

Serving Pieces
Any hostess knows the importance of a quality, neutral, and chic serving platter. After working so hard on entertaining a large party, presentation is everything. For brides to be that sweat silver, Pottery Barn offers the Antique Silver Sentiment collection of serving bowls, platters and utensils that will add a touch of elegance and grace to any place setting. For Neiman Marcus registrants, designers Wallace Silversmiths have stunning silver pieces certain to wow your guests, while fine china designer Juliska has created neutral pieces in unique shapes and sizes that are modern enough for trendy brides, yet perennial and chic enough for the long haul.

See More: Everything You Need to Register For

Photo Frames
You’re going to want to display your wedding photos throughout your home, and while novelty Mr. and Mrs. frames are adorable — they’re not as classic or timeless as some other options. Consider registering for silver or wooden photo frames that can stick with you as your décor and home evolve and change. Kate Spade offers an assortment of silver, rose gold and gold photo frames that will stand out on their own as they display your most cherished memories.

Candle Holders
Nothing completes a holiday or dinner party tablescapes like a pair of gorgeous candlesticks. With this in mind, aim your scan gun at classic options such as silver candlesticks, crystal votive holders, or any complementing combination of the two. Waterford Lismore collection offers chic, sparkly votive holders, while home décor designer Nambé offers silver, wooden and glass options in all sizes you’re sure to love (and light!).

A Classic Piece
Certain furniture items will never go out of style. While some couples might be hesitant to register for a big-ticket item like a couch, consider the fact that many attendees would prefer to chip in for a large gift that you can cherish forever, rather than something like a toaster or blender. Many retailers will allow you to register for furniture pieces, so consider what would be the ideal piece for your house or apartment now, as well as your future home. If you’re registering for china, for example, you’ll need some place to store it. And it would be pretty awesome to have a buffet or bar cabinet to store your new glassware (and booze!) Crate & Barrel offers an array of bar carts and their Marin Shiitake Bar Cabinet is a versatile and classic piece. Registering at Macy’s? Their furniture department offers both corner curious and china cabinets perfect to showcase your new place settings!

Choosing the perfect wedding song for such a monumental moment as the first dance is a task and a half, and especially so when you’re a same-sex couple.

Ahh the first dance song, the track that will play as you and your newly minted life partner sway back and forth as your friends and family snap photos and ooh and ahh about how perfect you look (and presumably are) together. It’s an important moment, and it’s something that takes a lot of thought. And unless you’re one of those couples that’s always had a signature song or one of you is an avid, avid music lover, it’s also something that takes a good bit of research. How fast should the tempo be? Should you go with a classic? What about a new hit? What message should it send? What should it actually say?

It’s the last point that’s, often, the hardest. Say you like a song and it’s on your running list of contenders, but once you sit down and actually listen to the lyrics word-by-word, you realize it’s not saying what you need it to say. Hey, it happens, and especially so when you have to avoid anything written about the traditional boy-meets-girl romance. To help you out, we asked Aaron Thurston of Lucy Music in Brooklyn to share his top been-there-done-that tips on finding a first dance song that pleases you, your partner, and your crowd that’s watching.

Ask your band (or DJ) to get creative.
So, what if your favorite ballad has endless uses of he and she? Your wedding band can rearrange it to fit your first dance — make it shorter, change the lyrics, and even add your names. Using a DJ? Easy: Have her hunt down a gender-appropriate cover.

Choose an all-embracing ballad.
That said, most great love songs are universal, and plenty of classics are gender free and awesome — no edits required. An easy rule to go by? “Try finding one that’s about the feeling of love, not the people involved,” says Thurston.

And, finally, lose the idea of the ‘perfect’ song.
If nothing’s really speaking to you, remember that the music is just the background to the moment. “There are plenty of great songs that will work, and unlike choosing a partner, I think it’s OK to settle,” says Thurston.

Still not sure what jam to go with? Here are 10 songs we can get behind.

1. “At Last,” by Etta James

2. “All of Me,” by John Legend

3. “You Are The Best Thing,” by Ray LaMontagne

4. “First Day of My Life,” by Bright Eyes

5. “Make You Feel My Love,” by Adele

6. “Fly Me To The Moon,” by Frank Sinatra

7. “The Nearness of You,” by Norah Jones

8. “Thinking Out Loud,” by Ed Sheeran

9. “How Long Will I Love You,” by Ellie Goulding

10. “Exception,” by Paramore

See More: How to Choose Who Walks Down the Aisle at a Same-Sex Wedding

Father’s Day is always a special time, but for first time dads it’s even more meaningful, and should be celebrated accordingly. To make it extra special, check out some unique ways to ensure your husband’s first Father’s Day is a memorable one.

Dad-Themed Movie Marathon
While outdoor barbecues are the go-to venue for Father’s Day, all some new dads want is a little R&R with his favorite people. Throw a Father’s Day movie marathon and spend the afternoon munching on your favorite movie theater treats in the comfort of your own living room. Flicks like Finding Nemo, Mrs. Doubtfire, Boyhood, The Godfather, and countless more all have dad-centric plots that are sure to warm hearts and make for great memories.

Create a New Tradition
Who doesn’t love a good tradition? Well, now is the time to start. Do something as simple as walking through your local park, stopping for ice cream at your favorite shop, or breakfast in bed this Father’s Day and make it a point to do it every year ahead. This way, when your little one grows and as dad’s role changes you’ll always be able to say, “Ever since you were born we’ve done ____ on Father’s Day.” Hearts = melted.

Mommy / Daddy Time
Since the arrival of your little one, it’s a pretty safe bet to say you haven’t been able to spend nearly as much 1:1 time as you used to. Rekindle the romance in the name of honoring your man for Father’s Day. After you’ve spent the day celebrating with family and your baby, schedule some much needed mommy/daddy time. What you choose to do in that time is up to you — from in-home happy hours to some quality time in the bedroom, we guarantee new dads will be thrilled with the notion.

Surprise Photo Shoot
By this point you’ve learned, and have experienced for yourself, the power of family and the bonds that grow through generations. Surprise your husband (and your dad, and father-in-law, too!) with a photo shoot (professional, amateur, or iPhone — it all works!) to commemorate this special time in your lives. There’s nothing sweeter than a Grandpa, Dad and grand-baby all in one shot and they’ll be sure to cherish these images forever.

Send a Message
As new parents, its safe to say you’re exhausted. So, make your baby do all the work! (Well, most of it anyway.) Decorate a onsie, t-shirt or jumper with a message and have your little one wake up Daddy wearing it. Whether it’s “golfing reservations at noon”, a simple “I love you Daddy” or anything in between — there’s no cuter or more meaningful way to spread the word. Head to your local craft shop for fabric paint or iron on transfer paper and you’ll have everything you need for this creative and adorable trick.

See More: 3 Things Every Father of the Bride Should Do at His Daughter’s Wedding

It’s time to take a break from wedding planning stress and dive deep into planning your honeymoon! You might already have a list of places you’d like to learn more about, or you might be starting your honeymoon search from scratch. Don’t worry there’s a destination out there for you, but don’t book it before taking a few things into consideration. Whether you’re looking for a honeymoon that’s jam-packed with activities or something that’s more relaxing (aka a good selection of lounge chairs, a beach, and a cocktail), here are nine things you should consider before choosing your honeymoon location.

1. Think About the Weather
Look up past weather trends for the month you are planning on honeymooning. If basking in the sun is your thing, try to avoid going during that location’s rainy season or heavy winter.

2. Out of Pocket Costs
Perhaps you’re getting a good deal on airfare and hotel, but it’s important to double check how much local restaurants, activities, and even transportation will cost you. Sometimes those costs can add up and be way more than you expected.

3. Getting Time Off From Work
If you’re going somewhere far or even planning a road trip, be sure you can take off a longer amount of time instead of rushing a trip that should be a week or two.

4. Keep Current on What’s Happening in the World
Research the location you have your heart set on romancing in to make sure you are aware of any problems or health risks, like the current Zika epidemic in Brazil.

5. What Type of Vibe Do You Want
Before picking a place, decide together what kind of honeymoon you both want. Are you looking for something active or are you okay with something that’s all relaxation all the time? Make a decision together (it won’t be your last!).

6. Is One Location Enough?
When you’re looking into destinations, you don’t just have to pick one place. If your budget and vacation time allows, you can look into island hopping or jet setting to a couple of places at once.

7. Are You Finding Any Hidden Gems
Try not to book a honeymoon like anyone else’s who has been there. Research and read up about hidden gems you can explore while you’re there.

See More: Best Honeymoon Destinations By Month

Jen Glantz is a “Professional Bridesmaid” and the founder of Bridesmaid for Hire. She’s the author of All My Friends Are Engaged and frequently wears old bridesmaid dresses to the grocery store and on first dates.

How does one possibly mark the anniversary of the day they said “I do” after their spouse has passed? While most wouldn’t even want to think about a time when their loved one is no longer by the side, it’s a reality for country star Rory Feek who tragically lost his wife Joey to cancer just three months ago. Feek’s first anniversary without his partner in life and in country crooning duets just passed and the grieving groom opened up about how he celebrated the day. Grab your tissues, guys. This one’s a doozy…

Joey Feek, one half of the country duo Joey+Rory, passed away back in March of this year, after an almost two-year-long battle with cervical cancer, leaving behind her two-year-old daughter and loving hubby. This month marked what would’ve been 14 years together for the country couple and Rory celebrated their anniversary in the sweetest, most heartbreakingly beautiful way, which he detailed on his blog. “In the early morning, I carried a thermos and our two favorite mugs across the back field and shared a cup of coffee with my bride as the sun came up over the wooden cross with her name on it,” he wrote. “I talked and she listened. Or at least, I hoped that somewhere, somehow, she could hear me.”

“This was my gift to her,” he said referencing the upcoming film documenting their lives together, To Joey, With Love. Sharing the trailer on his site, he continued, “I have not cried beside Joey’s grave. I have talked and prayed and sat still beside her cross for hours, but not really cried. Not until yesterday when I shared this trailer with her, or at least tried to. For our anniversary. And I wept like a baby.” Ugh, now so are we…

“I just want to lift my bride up and continue to tell her beautiful story,” Feek finished. “Happy Anniversary, my love.”

Didn’t we warn you’d need tissues?

See More: How to Honor a Deceased Relative at Your Wedding

Some of the greatest romances bloom out of friendships, and Altaf and Sameer are proof. The pair met as students at Yale in 2006, she as an undergraduate and he as a law student, where their friendship began. But their relationship quickly transitioned into a love story, and in December of 2013, while Altaf was completing her residency, Sameer received her parents’ blessing and proposed. It was an elaborate scheme, with the groom blindfolding the bride-to-be and bringing her to an ice skating rink reminiscent of their first date at Rockefeller Center. At the rink, he surprised her with flowers, candles, chocolates, and poetry — a passion the couple shares — before getting down on one knee. “He rented out the entire rink, and our closest friends came by to skate and celebrate with us,” Altaf remembers.

With the bride busy as a resident physician, the groom took the lead on planning the wedding, starting with the venue. “Sameer knows I love baroque architecture, and he found a stunning venue, Vibiana, in the heart of Los Angeles,” says Altaf. The pair worked with Amber Events to plan a day that blended their Indian, Iraqi, and Iranian heritage with their Muslim faith, and filled the space with lush blooms to create a nostalgic, romantic garden vibe. Keep reading to see how they combined their love of poetry, their heritage, and their faith to create a timeless celebration, photographed by Callaway Gable.

The outdoor ceremony took place in the venue’s courtyard, with rows of chairs flanking the candlelit aisle.

On either side of the aisle’s entrance stood a fountain overflowing with pink roses, white hydrangeas, and olive branches. In addition to the pair’s traditional Islamic marriage ceremony, an Iranian Sofreh Aghd was displayed on a lace-covered table. Symbolic items, such as a mirror to bring light into the couple’s future and an assortment of seven herbs and spices to guard against evil, were displayed amongst beaded votive holders.

Altaf walked down the aisle with both of her parents, wearing a Hayley Paige ball gown with a gathered bodice and a full tulle skirt. “I love how whimsical the skirt made me feel,” she says. She leaned toward the gown’s strapless design because she knew it would pair beautifully with her long-sleeved jacket and traditional head scarf.

As part of the ceremony, the officiant asks the groom if he wished to enter into marriage, and then asked the bride the same question. “In Iraqi and Iranian tradition, the bride makes the groom wait and has to be asked many times before she says yes,” says Altaf. “In my family, it’s traditional for the bride to have to be asked fourteen times before saying yes!”

As the ceremony concluded, the bride and groom dipped their fingers into honey and fed one another, a gesture meant to represent the sweetness of their life. “It was a beautiful moment,” says the bride.

Her vibrant bouquet, combining peach garden roses, ivory lisianthus, jasmine, and café au lait dahlias, popped against Altaf’s white attire.

During cocktail hour, guests found their seat assignments in a vintage card catalogue display. “We don’t drink, so instead we served mocktails including a pom-mojito and a non-alcoholic margarita,” says Altaf.

Inside the venue, round tables were arranged beneath the ballroom’s dramatic arches.

Arrangements of garden roses, hydrangeas, and greenery topped the tables, including fountains reminiscent of the ceremony arrangements and mercury-glass bud vases.

Weathered stone vessels added to the garden ambiance, while candlesticks and lanterns were set on marble stairs leading to the sweetheart table.

A traditional Arabic band played as Sameer and Altaf entered the reception and made their way to their seats.

Guests dined on a multicultural menu created by Top Chef Neal Fraser, including truffled grilled cheese sandwiches, New Zealand lamb chop with sultana raisins, and grilled jidori chicken marinated in coconut milk and papaya. As a surprise, UCLA’s Bhangra dance team performed while everyone enjoyed their dinner.

The poetry-lovers infused their passion into their wedding day, printing their favorite lines on each guest’s escort card. The pair hired poet Jacquelin Suskin to write personalized poems for each guest throughout the evening — “She was a huge hit!” says Altaf.

The five-tiered wedding cake, covered in pink and peach roses and dahlias, had layers of cardamom cake frosted with Swiss meringue buttercream. “We both have a sweet tooth, so we also offered cupcakes in flavors like tangerine with browned butter frosting and buttermilk with chocolate frosting, Sameer’s favorite, and cream puffs, which are my favorite,” says the bride.

At the end of the night, the newlyweds made their getaway in a horse-drawn carriage decked out in blooms before heading to Malaysia for their honeymoon.

“A friend of mine told me to take three mental pictures during the wedding that I would never forget. We did that, and it made the whole night feel even more meaningful,” says Altaf.

Ceremony & Reception Venue: Vibiana || Wedding Coordinator: Amber Events || Bride’s Wedding Dress: Hayley Paige || Hair & Makeup: Angela Tam || Groom’s Attire: Hugo Boss || Engagement Ring & Wedding Bands: Ritani || Floral Design: Shawna Yamamoto Event Design || Sofrah Aghd: Fakhereh Maleki || Invitations: Azure Couture Stationery || Music: Sa’id Music & Dance Company || Entertainment: UCLA Bruin Bhangra,; Jacquelin Suskin || Catering: Neal Fraser || Cake: Red Carpet Cookies || Rentals: Found Vintage Rentals || Videographer: Buckley Videography || Photographer: Callaway Gable

Looking for more California wedding inspiration? Then check out another couple’s Los Angeles celebration in the video below.

Deciding whether or not to have children at your wedding can be tough, but if you’ve got friends with little ones or a soccer team worth of flower girls and ring bearers, it’s pretty much a no-brainer. That doesn’t mean, however, that Mom and Dad have to be on parent duty all night! Providing babysitters to help keep kids entertained is a great way to enable your friends to join in the celebration, even if it’s past someone’s bedtime. But how do you let your parent pals know you’ve got childcare set up for your wedding day? Our experts weigh in.

If only a few couples are bringing kids along for your wedding, sending an email or making a phone call is a quick and easy way to let them know that there will be babysitters on-hand. This way you can clearly communicate how long the sitters will be there, where the kids area will be set up, and whether there are any special requirements like highchairs or portable cribs that the kids in question might need. If you’re sending out an email, include all the parents in the same message so they can coordinate things like games or movies the kids will enjoy.

Having a larger group of kids as part of the party? Stick an information card into your invitation and include a line about childcare being available on-site.

You should also definitely display the details prominently on your wedding website. Request that parents contact you, your wedding planner, or even the sitters directly with any questions and any needs they might have. You could also include a hint about activities that are planned to get the kids excited about the party, too!

See more: These Kids Tell the Truth About Love and Weddings — and It’s Hilarious

You’ve taken the perfect #EngagementRingSelfie, you’ve screamed “I”m engaged!” from the loudest social media rooftops, and now it’s time to announce your happily ever after to the world with the perfect engagement photo session. But what about your makeup for those photos? Sure we all know that wedding day beauty is of the utmost importance, but these photos should also stand the test of time — and that starts with your beauty look. Lucky for you we’ve partnered with our friends at Pixi Beauty to get you engagement photo-ready in four easy steps.

1. Get Started on That Bridal Glow

We’ll never tire of saying this: The bridal glow all starts with taking great care of your skin! Upping your water consumption should be first on your list, but after you schedule your engagement photo session it’s time to get serious about skincare. Enter Pixi’s iconic Glow Tonic ($29) — the glow is in the name! — for a healthier and firmer complexion by photo shoot date. Ginseng and glycolic acid help tone and firm, while Aloe Vera makes this alcohol-free toner soothing and hydrating. Add this product to your day and night routine, after cleansing, to see glowing results. Finish off with the all over Glow Mist ($14).

2. Show Off Your Skin With Barely-There Foundation

Wedding photos and lighting can be more intense, but engagement portraits are often shot during the day, with nothing but natural sunlight to highlight your features. Take advantage of that lighting and go for a foundation that makes you look and feel as natural and easy as possible — after all these portraits won’t feel as formal as your big day photos. Forget a face full of caked on makeup; the idea here is to let your natural beauty shine through. It all starts with prepping the skin (aka the glow), and adding coverage slowly, as needed, so that you look more au natural. Skip the powder and start with a redness reducing primer (Redness Reducing Primer, $22), followed by a light beauty fluid (Flawless Beauty Fluid, $30) to even out the skin tone with a barely-there look. A dab of a concealer and highlighter combo (Illuminating Tint & Conceal, $24) in all the right spots (read under the eyes — don’t forget the corners — the brow bone, and cupid’s bow) should be the final touch.

3. Be the Blushing Bride

The glow is the first step, and now you want to add that “I’m so in love” rosy flush. They’ll never know you aren’t a naturally blushing bride with a gel based cheek color. Dab on a hint of Pixi’s Sheer Cheek Gel ($14) in Rosy or Natural for a look that hydrates and soothes while giving off that subtle radiance every bride craves.

4. A Natural Lip

While you want some color, a bold lip could be the difference between timeless photos and something that looks trend-driven and outdated 10 years from now. A light tinted balm (Tinted Brilliance Balm, $14) crayon should do the trick — giving you a dewy lip, without any stickiness, and just a hint of color.

Britney Spears is returning to Las Vegas to walk down the aisle…AGAIN! But this time, she’s standing by her BFF’s side as a bridesmaid this weekend — and if her Instagram video is telling us anything, she might just be more excited for the wedding than the bride is!

The 34-year-old pop princess shared a very enthusiastic video of herself in the car with friends on their way to Las Vegas to get their bridesmaid dresses, excitedly screaming, “Hi! Hello! In the dessert! Here we go! We’re about to become bridesmaids, ahh!” She captioned the Instagram (below), “My bestie is getting married in Vegas this weekend! Gotta go try on that bridesmaid dress lol.” She and her crew appeared to be having a grand ol’ time.

The last time she walked down the aisle in Las Vegas, it was to marry her childhood friend Jason Alexander, a holy matrimony which lasted a mere 55 hours before the couple decided to get an annulment, according to the Daily Mail. Those ghosts of Vegas weddings past didn’t seem to be haunting her today, however, since she was totally decked out in pink sparkly eyeshadow and was quite excited to be celebrating her friend’s nuptials.

This return to Vegas isn’t short lived, either; besides coming to Vegas for this wedding, Spears is also due for another round of performances at her Planet Hollywood concert show, “Piece of Me.” The pop star’s shows start back up June 17, and are pretty much the perfect pick for a Vegas bachelorette party (if we do say so ourselves). Brit-Brit’s Vegas performance residency kicked off in December 2013, and it will continue through September 10 of this year. “It’s very exciting. I’ve been working on this project for a year and a half now, almost two years so it really means a lot to me. It’s my baby. It’s a little melodic, a little more not so poppy,” the hit-maker shared with E! News.

See More: The Photos That Prove Celebrities Rock Their Bridesmaid Duties

Since you’re now most likely busy buying tickets to Sin City, we can’t help but take a moment to wonder what color she’ll be rocking as a ‘maid this weekend. If her eyelids have any influence on the bride, you can bet that pink and sparkles will be involved!

My bestie is getting married in Vegas this weekend! Gotta go try on that bridesmaid dress lol

A video posted by Britney Spears (@britneyspears) on Jun 14, 2016 at 9:39pm PDT

Just chillaxing ????

A video posted by Britney Spears (@britneyspears) on May 29, 2016 at 9:22pm PDT

Ooh look who I found… @g_eazy

A photo posted by Britney Spears (@britneyspears) on Jun 2, 2016 at 1:41pm PDT

??????

A photo posted by Britney Spears (@britneyspears) on May 20, 2016 at 11:00am PDT

Not to put too much pressure on you, but, “your choice of a life partner may well be the most important decision you ever make,” says New York City-based relationship therapist Jean Fitzpatrick. But we’re can make that big decision a little easier. Here, our experts say, are eight questions you must ask yourself before you say “yes.”

1. Why do I want to get married?
Are you feeling the siren call of wedding bells because this was the year all your friends tied the knot — or because you can’t imagine your life without this guy or gal? “Marriage ideally should be about finding the right partner, instead of feeling like it is time to do so,” says Lisa Yee, LMFT in Madison, Wisconsin. So, she says, be sure you know why you want to say yes before you do.

2. Can we manage conflict?
The key to a marriage-ready relationship isn’t a lack of conflict, says Fitzpatrick. Instead, you can feel confident in saying “yes” when you’ve learned to manage conflict with respect. “Partners who can speak gently to each other rather than fly off the handle will be the most effective at sorting out typical disagreements over money, sex, and chores,” Fitzpatrick explains. “Couples who don’t manage conflict effectively end up in destructive arguments, or they begin to avoid each other and the relationship goes stale.”

3. Will my partner stick through the tough times?
Should you tie the knot, you’ll likely promise to stick with your partner through the good times and the bad. But can you be sure your partner plans to do the same? “Nobody expects trouble,” says Linda F. Williams, MSW and certified professional life coach, “yet these challenges are almost inevitable. Knowing how well an individual deals with unexpected developments and changes will clue you in on whether they will be supportive in the trenches.”

See More: 5 Signs You Are Ready to Get Married

4. Can I be my true self around my partner?
You want to spend your life with a partner from whom you don’t have to hide your true self. So before you say yes, says Kali Rogers, founder and CEO of Blush Online Life Coaching, be sure he or she brings out the real you. “If you feel like you have to hide things about yourself, exaggerate, lie, or anything else in order to be the right version of yourself in front of your partner, be aware,” she says. “It’s pretty impossible to hide our authentic selves over the course of 30, 40, or 50 years, so it’s good to make sure you both are being yourselves now before you move forward.”

5. Does marriage mean the same thing to us?
When you picture marriage, what do you see? And does your vision match your partner’s? “If one partner thinks children should be raised by a stay-at-home mom and the other looks forward to being a two-career couple, you have some talking to do,” says Fitzpatrick. Or, “if one likes to be alone [together] most of the time while the other wants to socialize regularly, you’ll need to find compromise.”

6. Would I trust my partner with my bank account right now?
You may still several months before you’d have to test this out, but it’s best to know if your money management styles mesh now. “So often money issues and trust are at the root of many marriage conflicts,” points out Susan Albers, Psy.D, psychologist at the Cleveland Clinic. “If you wouldn’t feel comfortable handing over your bank account, it is unlikely that you truly trust your spouse to be. Trust begins with being able to reveal everything — from our phones to our bank accounts, passwords and computers.”

7. Do I love who my partner is today?
Says Rogers, “Potential is a great, but it’s not enough to sustain a relationship. So ask yourself if you are banking on something changing in your relationship in order to take the big plunge.” Why? Because, as Rogers explains, you have no guarantee your partner will change down the road. “So the best thing we can do for ourselves is to ask if we are completely happy with the person our partner is today,” she says, “because assuming they will change in the future could completely devastate expectations.”

8. Do our families mesh?
Albers asks you to picture a family holiday. Do you see every peacefully together, or does tension and conflict erupt? “[If] you can’t imagine a [peaceful] meal with both sides of the family, carefully explore why not,” she encourages. “Extended families are often at the heart of fissures in the relationship. You may think that you will only visit in-laws once a year but distance no longer guarantees they won’t be involved in the day to day of your life.”