Who Gets Invited to the Bachelorette Party?

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Out of all of the pre-wedding festivities, the bachelorette party might be the most fun. When was the last time you had a chance to get your closest friends together for a night or weekend of adventures? (Whether they’re rated PG or R is up to you!) And while the bride is usually not so involved in planning the bachelorette party, the one thing she does have a say on is the guest list. So who gets an invite, and who doesn’t? We’ll break it down for you, with a little help from Amber Harrison, Wedding Paper Divas’ Style and Etiquette Expert and host of Small Talk, Big Day.

“Typically, the bachelorette party is reserved for your bridesmaids and maybe a few of your closest friends and female family members,” says Harrison. “This can change depending on the type of celebration you want and the activities you end up choosing.”

Start with a conversation with whoever will be planning and hosting the event. Advises Harrison, “Think about what kind of party you want, and discuss it with your bridesmaids so they are clear about what (and who!) you are comfortable with. Ultimately, the guest list is up to you!” The type of event you’re comfortable with will also have a big impact on who you decide to invite.

“If you have a great relationship with your mom, aunt, or other family member, go ahead and include them. Just remember to make sure everyone on the guest list would be comfortable participating or observing — including you!” Harrison says. An afternoon at your favorite winery or a day at the spa? Invite Mom and your aunt to come along. A weekend in Vegas? You may want to leave those family members at home.

There’s only one real guest list no-no to avoid. “Don’t invite anyone who has not received an invitation to your wedding,” Harrison emphasizes. “That goes for your shower, too!”

See more: The 4 Hottest Bachelorette Party Destinations for 2017