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So, you’re starting to feel a bit frisky and things are heating up, but your partner doesn’t know you’re on your period. You don’t mind, but you’re not sure how he feels about it. Do you say something? And if so, how? Casually mention it as your pants are coming off? Like, “FYI, it’s that time”?
Even when you know periods are nothing to be ashamed of or grossed out by, it can feel kind of awkward to bring it up. And while there’s no reason you shouldn’t have sex during your period, some people nevertheless prefer no to go there.
According to a survey by Flex, a device that makes period sex easier, the majority (55 percent) of people think period sex is natural or awesome, and the great majority (88 percent) have done it. But 45 percent find it a turnoff, and 86 percent say they’ve avoided it due to the mess it can make.
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So, even though there’s nothing objectively wrong with period sex, some people do have their own preferences. For this reason, Astroglide’s resident sexologist Jessica O’Reilly, Ph.D., advises talking in advance about what each of you are comfortable with while you’re on your period. You could simply say, “I’m on my period. Are you cool with __?” Or, if you know your partner is not comfortable with full-blown sex while you’re on your period, you could suggest something else.
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“You might find that different types of sex feel better while you’re on your period, and you’ll likely want to keep the variety going when you’re not,” she says.
According to Anna Druet, scientific researcher for the period-tracking app Clue, period sex actually has its advantages, since the blood provides natural lube and some women feel more turned on during their periods. If you’re worried about the mess, she recommends wearing a tampon up until you start, having sex in the shower, or putting a towel down, and voila–you’re good to go.
There’s no need to miss out on the fun just because it’s your time of month. Just make sure that everyone’s cool with it in advance.
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This article originally appeared on Glamour.