Photo: Teale Photography
Congratulations! You’re married — now what? While you’re still basking in the newlywed glow, many people will begin, almost instantaneously, to ask you what’s next. While most of the time these questions are lighthearted and good natured, they can still seem overwhelming. So here’s a little bit of guidance on how to respond to help navigate those post-wedding interviews.
“So, how does it feel?”
Amazing? The same? Dream-like? Status quo? The responses are endless. This question is typically harmless and you will be asked it a ton. It’s everyone’s way of showing they are interested in your newlywed experiences during such an exciting time. It’s always a great time to gush over your happiness, or reflect on how not too much has changed (except for the new sparkler on your hand and maybe a new last name!) When people ask this, it’s typically from a great place so have fun with your response. It only means they care.
“Are you changing your name?”
Whether you want to say, “Yep! Already done, and my Gmail, too!” or “Hell no, my last name is mine forever,” there’s no harm, no foul for your response here either. As with many questions honesty is the best policy — unless you feel the person is being too intrusive or interrogative. Should you feel this way, a simple “I’m not sure yet,” or “We’ll see!” suffices. If they keep pressing, politely explain that it’s a personal decision between you and your new husband.
“So when are the babies coming?”
This is perhaps the most deeply personal, intrusive question that you’ll undoubtedly be asked at some point after saying “I do.” It can be an exciting and welcome question for those who are open books, or an uncomfortable, invasive experience for those who are more private — and you’re entitled to feeling either way. Just keep in mind that 99 percent of the time most people are asking about your future plans for children out of excited curiosity, without harmful intentions. But for many, that doesn’t take out some of the sting. If you want to be honest, its perfectly okay to say, “not yet” or “in the future, we hope!” Or if it applies to you, “no way, Jose!” If you want to avoid the baby question altogether (which is well within your new Mrs. rights) remind the asker that you JUST tied the knot and your only focus is on enjoying every second being a newlywed.
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“Are you going to buy a house now?”
This question can be viewed as 50 percent interest based and 50 percent being a little too nosy for many peoples liking. Traditionally couples wed, then buy a home, then have little ones, usually all in the course of a year — right? Not so much anymore. Every single couple is different, and enjoys a different timeline. It’s okay to temper your response based on your relationship with the person that’s asking. If it’s close family and friends, be open about your situation (they probably already know, anyway). Co-worker or acquaintance? Proceed similarly. Just avoid divulging too much about finances or other personal information, as it’s just that — personal.