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Everyone makes (marriage) mistakes in a relationship. But it’s how you deal with these issues will designate whether a couple will succeed or fall apart. These women are here to fess up to their own mistakes, plus give you the inside scoop on how to fix these common marriage faux pas.
1. Focusing on the negatives.
“I relentlessly focused on how my own needs weren’t being met, and this tendency only exacerbated negativity within our relationship. Let’s be honest: Criticism does not evoke real change. Eventually, I began to focus on how my emotional needs could be met and what I could do to inspire and evoke that specific kind of behavior from him, rather than complaining.” — Lisa
2. Not having enough self love.
“It sounds cliched, but I didn’t love myself enough. And how I felt toward myself and how I treated myself was what my husband reflected back to me. I had to learn to love myself more and forgive myself for my mistakes, including this one. As soon as I started to believe that I deserved love and joy and was enough exactly as I was, he began to express his love for me more deeply.” — Anna
3. Being too demanding.
“I thought my husband should know exactly what I needed and wanted at all times, without me telling him. I finally figured out that wasn’t working for either of us. I wasn’t getting what I needed or wanted, and he was just getting frustrated. So I started to praise him when he did do the things I needed, rather than complain when he couldn’t figure it out. Soon enough, he was doing those ‘good’ things more often, and we were both a lot happier.” — Jasmine
4. Not valuing alone time.
“When we first got married, I didn’t value my alone time. I wanted to soak up every second with my new husband, which I think is a pretty normal reaction to being a newlywed. But when I started to be grouchy and moody, I realized it was because I was missing ‘me’ things. My hobby is painting, but I hadn’t picked up a paintbrush in months because that would mean shutting myself off from my husband for hours. I realized though that I needed that ‘me’ time to be ‘me’ around him, if that makes sense. So I started taking time for myself again, and we were both a lot happier when we did have time together. And there was still plenty of it.” — Annette
5. Involving family members in the relationship.
“My biggest marriage mistake was probably talking to my mom too much about our relationship! My mom is my best friend, and I would tell her everything, down to the tiny spat my husband and I had over who would shovel the driveway that morning. I didn’t realize it, but sharing every little argument with her made her build up some resentment toward my husband. I had to learn to keep some things to myself so that they could have a good relationship too!” — Jen
See More: The 50 Mistakes Brides Always Make