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Wedding guests have it pretty easy — they come and watch a beautiful ceremony of love, enjoy cocktail hour and dinner, and then dance the night away with the bride and groom. But when it comes to wedding attire, there are a few things that are definitely on the do-not-wear list. The unspoken rule is that you should never upstage the bride — regardless of what you’re wearing. But, what if the dress you picked “accidentally” upstages the bride? A radio station in New Zealand is addressing a wedding guest etiquette question — asking on behalf of a woman who attended a wedding last weekend: Did this wedding guest deserve the treatment she received about her wedding guest attire?
The radio station Breeze Waikato posted on their Facebook page, asking their listeners to weigh in on the outfit faux-pas, “A friend wore this dress to a wedding in the weekend and got targeted big time. She says she got treated rudely by other women at the wedding who saw her as a target for wearing this dress.” They explained that some of the guests even went so far as to get physical about it. “A woman came up behind her and slapped her on the bum and said it was on a dare from a group of other women who were watching and snickering.” And it gets worse, as she shared that someone purposefully spilled beer on her dress!
The radio station commented on its Facebook page, “She’s amazed that grown women could be so immature and such bullies. But wait. She wants to know — did she bring ANY of this on herself by wearing this dress to a wedding?”
See More: 5 Simple Ways to Be the Best Wedding Guest
The internet had an array of mixed reactions to the woman’s peach, white, and nude bandage dress, according to the Mirror, with some saying the that it was a poor outfit choice for a wedding, siding with the other guests (albeit not condoning their behavior). “Inappropriate and disrespectful for a wedding, you are the focus of someone else’s special day, not at a club, you made yourself look narcissistic and a bit silly, sorry.” Another went straight to the S-word, saying, “Too slutty for a wedding…that sort of dress is OK on a date night or for the bedroom but NOT for a wedding.” And one even told the guest she should resort to violence, saying, “Next time use those muscles to knock the person who touches you without your permission.”
On the flip side, other internet commenters felt it wasn’t that big of a deal. “As long as the bride was fine with it then go for it. Chances are the bride knew her friend well enough to know what she would wear,” one noted. And as far as the physicality of the situation, many were disturbed. “A woman NEVER brings physical abuse or bulling on herself with her clothing. End. Of. Story.”
It’s clear guest attire and dress codes at weddings are hotly debated topics, and people feel very strongly about what should be worn to these events. When you think about it, technically this guest didn’t even break our rules about the colors you shouldn’t wear to a wedding. Still, people will always have their opinions, but as long as the bride doesn’t care, you’re in good shape!